Moving, thinking

Most people sit still to think of new ideas, some travel & meditate in India or to some, ideas come within 20 minutes in a jacuzzi. Unfortunately, that’s not how my brain works.  Even when I sleep I dream heavy (happy dreams.) My 8 hours of sleep almost feels like a 7-min. power nap.  I wake up all energetic and ready to go.  I love my morning runs.  I see a lot of young moms pushing their workout strollers at 7AM. Not to mention, the senior citizens who completely take my excuses away! It’s great to get up when everyone’s trying to press that Snooze button and ignore the first annoying alarm sound. I remember 2 weeks ago when I couldn’t see anything that was ahead of me because of the heavy fog.  When I completed my 3 mile-run the sun had already taken over the field. Moving makes me think fast. Running makes me think of all the good things that was given to me. Things like dinner with friends who I don’t get to see much, the healthy food that I’m able to eat, the visit to my gynecologist, dermatologist, conversations with my agent, the deep counseling with nuns, my close friends in LA & NY, the books I’ve read, the courage that took place when I was scared as hell to take a leap, the decisions I had to make when I was young and how it lead me to becoming the wife I am now, the temporary retirement from singing, the new adventure of filmmaking, my visits to numerous worship places besides Catholic churches, the people I’ve met & the books they gave me, my  drive to Santa Barbara, San Jose, San Francisco, life on the road and the gift of amazing stamina considering that I was born with a weak heart, lungs and immune system, the backstage tours, the people I had to say NO to because of certain “principles” and so on and so forth. It’s magnificent! The early morning hours bring joy to a few. I find that there are more runners at night. They, too, take my “excusitis” away! After long hours of work, criticism and probably lots of negativity in the corporate world, they (CEOs, nurses, doctors, etc.) go out and run, set goals, and most of all FINISH! And it doesn’t matter if you’re either a slow runner or just want to walk. It’s about getting out there to move, to run or to walk.  Whatever it is being with nature and using your own two feet is somehow meditative, cleansing & magical.  What a way to decolonize the mind!

Ambition to Excel

It was such a gorgeous day today in Santa Monica.  The beach was stunning and my dog had a blast with some of the volunteers at the Pancreatic Cancer Research Walk.  Singing the National Anthem made me so emotional! I stood before those representatives who paid tribute to their loved ones affected by such illness.  As I was singing, I thought of their family-struggles…Oh America!  The home of the Brave!  Can we also just imagine the feeling that Skinner, Beane and Key had witnessing the War of 1812?  (The nasty battle against the British?)  Yes, history took over my thoughts.  On my flight from New York to LA the other day, I picked up a copy of Harvard Business Review.  On page 45 is an article about David McCullough on Timeless Leadership.  Great article! One MUST read!  He also talks about history.  Growing up I was taught that “history repeats itself.”  NOT!  History repeats because we’re too stubborn to read and learn what happened and only a few are willing to study what should and shouldn’t be done.  Yes, we can learn so much by reading about these dead people and how they were unprepared for the challenges but the greatest thing about our past leaders is that if they have indeed failed in some way, they failed successfully.  McCullough says, “Good leaders also judge people by how they handle failure.  I’m told that young people new to the business world today suffer because they’re used to constant recognition. Regardless of gender, ‘being a man’ means having the attributes of courage-backbone-resilience, and strength of character. Are you so filled up with your own ambitions and your sense of being terrific that you can’t see the strengths in others?  Are you someone who can be counted on when the chips are down?” Going back to the Walk today, if for instance we know of someone affected by this disease or of any kind, do we just pretend that it’s no big deal? Or do we have the courage to look them in the eye and tell them that we are willing to lock arms with them and help them go through the struggle any way we can?  I don’t know anyone very close to me who has Pancreatic Cancer but I’m not just going to sit here, wait and then get involved.  I’d run another XX.X miles again if I have to for every cause.  

Making Unpopular Choices that Work

I always hear people say, “At the end of the day when it gets more challenging, you’re just going to have to stick with what you know so you might as well learn everything.” I came across that statement many years ago and I understood it but didn’t really get it.  So for the past two years I’ve been shadowing my husband’s work in Filmmaking. Absolutely Fascinating! I tried to learn every aspect of it not just in dealing with people which is what life is all about and can I just say how much I hate schmoozing? (Not a big fan of idle conversation!) I’m talking about learning from research work, to storyboards, production design, film financing, distribution, directing, casting, grip, AD, script analysis, mentoring, risk factors, marketing, pitch packets, traveling & meeting with out-of-state investors, the industry, film composers, leadership, and on and on.  I do, however, miss the musical theater life.  Right before that chapter I was a student working in different jobs from a Telemarketer (yup!  I probably called you up regarding an AT&T Security Installation) to being a Student Aide to Passenger Service Representative for American Airlines at John F. Kennedy Airport in Queens, New York (and several other odd jobs.)  Every experience was fun! My parents begged me to stay home and said they’d take care of me so I can enjoy being a “celebrity” and continue singing.  But life has all its possibilities and I’m discovering now that there’s more than what we know.  We can never have enough wisdom and information.  At the moment, I’m discovering more about being a wife and the Five Love Languages.  I learned the difference between Notre Dame College Football team and USC Trojans (my favorite!) Independent vs. PAC TEN and on and on AND don’t get me started.  I also found out about Pete Caroll.  He not only excels on coaching the Trojans but even more so on his leadership.  He goes out to South Central (where everyday someone always gets shot) and helps the underprivileged become problem-solvers and just basically create a better LA.  It’s about mentality.  Another discovery is for all you programmer friends out there, PHP 5.  I was talking to some of our neighbors and I discovered another thing. In most apartments here in LA, 80% of the occupants had their houses foreclosed. Interesting fact!  Some information are either impressive or depressing.  I read the book The Contrarian’s Guide to Leadership written by Steven Sample. I highly recommend it. The best discovery is when I finish reading a book and start applying the principles that I just learned and getting the positive messages back tenfold.  Book of the Day:  the story about John Wooden, UCLA’s basketball coach and how he led the team to 10 championships.  I still have a lot to discover from this book.  As I’m typing this blog I’m hearing this voice in my head saying, “aren’t you telling too much?”  Not really because I’m only disclosing 5% of what I know.  I don’t know how many times I’ll change careers or add more on my plate.  One thing I know is that the more I’m learning the easier it gets to relate to people- even those are difficult to deal with.  I totally get it now!

My Chest

 

I didn’t really have to purchase a chest. It used to be the least important piece of furniture in my bedroom in New York. It’s just a large rectangular shaped box made out of wood so I can have extra storage space. I just stare at it and know it’s there. It’s where I keep my supplies and lots & lots of gifts from families and friends I met on the road. Lately, I discovered the true value of that “thing.” One day when I’m old, I’d like to leave a legacy to my children, a blueprint that is filled with life stories about character, values, integrity, relationships, tradition, the brick walls of senseless ennui I had to tear down, the people who touched me deeply, people who were strong enough to face their insecurities & emotional instability and I was there when they needed me. Ah! It’s called memoir. It’s a tough choice to qualify friends and see if they are of a positive influence. The once in the past who were not willing to grow felt completely uncomfortable about the fact that we somehow need to grow deep down. I mean, how can we expect the value of our house to increase when our value as human beings don’t? This reminds me of when I made the toughest choice to eat healthy. It was back in the late 90′s. In the first few weeks my body rejected the raw food based diet, the fresh vegetables, the minerals, the vitamins and hated the absence of pigs, cows and chickens. Instead it craved the usual greasy, excess carbs and “sweets” overdose. It is a tough choice indeed. I don’t mean being a good person but as a Whole person. But I’d rather choose to feel uncomfortable knowing that I’m just at the bottom of the next higher level in life than to feel uneasy because of this common fear of and to change. This last New York trip, I started putting material things of value in my chest. In it tells you stories of who I am and notes from people around me who continues to encourage me to reach every small finish lines I have set for my self-growth. Then there’s another chest. The one where we keep our love, sorrow, feelings, emotions and attitude. And what’s in it? Memories of family, friends, pets! After a productive day, I express my gratitude through silence. After all, we are sentient beings living in God’s country.

The Freedom of Expression

The Right to Vote. It was such a moment of indecision. I’m a McCain fan but Obama has such a true servant heart and yet this country has long been governed by men. I’m curious to see how an intelligent, strong-willed woman/ mother would lead. I WAS TORN! I felt like I was somewhere else, waiting in line to ride the most dangerous roller coaster at Six Flags. I always take the Elections seriously. Elections, Politics, Economy, etc… I like the Economist Magazine because it gives us a thumbnail sketch of what’s going on in the world (both Politics & Economy.) A couple of weeks before the Primary Elections I watched The Presidents. It’s an overview of the latter from George Washington up until the present. While standing in line I couldn’t help but think about the past leaders. I pick Abraham Lincoln (Republican) as one of my top 5. Oh what would Abe do? When he became president not many people knew who he was. He wasn’t even good-looking. He was completely aware of that and yet he had a great sense of humor about it and he also told great stories. Ironically, what made him remarkable was his extraordinary ways of handling Adversity. The tougher the adversity, the greater he became at making wise decisions. Abe was Solution-oriented rather than Problem-oriented. I could read about his life again and again and I will forever be fascinated. And then there’s: Think not what your country can do for you but what YOU can do for your country by JFK (Democrat.) Everything starts from within. We can all wisely recite the Scriptures but if we don’t walk the talk what good does it do? I believe that to understand people I must first wear their shoes. My soft-spoken Mom would constantly remind me that if I don’t have anything positive to say about someone, then I better keep my mouth shut or better yet think harder! Even Abe himself learned a valuable lesson.

The Blessed Actor

We are all blessed!

The other day I was talking to a friend who complained about “people.” I told her people are just either happy or ungrateful. Some have too much time to think too much instead of just taking action. Some think before they speak and some are tactless. People are people and we can’t control each and everyone. We just have to love them where they’re at. She spoke of Christ, perfection and basically started preaching to me and attacked Catholicism! ON AND ON… I kept my cool for about two hours. Yes, this is how long she preached. She asked me why I seem different from her Catholic friends and I told her I studied Buddhism, the Book of Mormon, Al Qur’an, Evangelical, First Baptist, Taoism, Episcopalian, Methodist, The Art of Happiness by the Dalai Lama, had an orientation at the Church of Scientology, I own a video of Billy Graham, spend time with Seventh Day Adventists, Born Again Christians, Atheists, Agnostics, I’m still trying to understand the Church of Christ, , meditate at the Self-Realization Fellowship (Thanks to Jen Paz for introducing me to this place and taking me there in 2000.)  So I reminded my friend that there’s one thing we have in common. We ALL need the same things & God, Christ, Messiah, however we want to call HIM. How dare we say we love our Creator and when the chips are down, we react instead of respond? To me, there is no such thing as Smooth Sailing life. I’m VERY THANKFUL that someone, especially Jesus, rocks the boat to make me become a strong person. So practice what you preach without preaching!  That’s what I learned from all the nuns I met from my travels around the world.

 

The Faithful Actor

I woke up in the middle of the night wandering around the house.  I had so much energy.  4AM and I couldn’t go back to sleep.  I was just excited about the Unknown.  I stared at my book of the day, Balcony People.  I opened the first page, read it and finished it.  Then I had the urge to write a short film which I’m proud to say I’ve started.  The restlessness ended up with music.  ”Perhaps one day I can write my own film & film scores,” I thought.  Well, I took the first step.  However, I had to close my eyes.  Much to my surprise, I didn’t feel any perpetual agitation from my inability to relax and dream sweet dreams.  I somehow managed to sit in lotus position and forced my mind and body to respect the meditation process.  I asked if God would one day give me an explanation about that morning of uneasiness.  I opened the Bible and there it was.  I read it out loud, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”  Philippians 4:13  And the best surprise to me was it didn’t really have anything to do with singing.